Beaches, books and beer ……
All good things in life start with B Beaches books beer biryani and how can I forget? Yes boys too….

Imagine…. The breeze ruffling up your hair, water spraying on your face, waves splashing around your ankle and the warmth of the sun kissing your skin….
Can you feel what I feel?
I feel ….. I feel like I am surfing on the waves, big blue sky over my head and sand under my feet. If you are not barefoot on the beach then you are over dressed. I feel happy. There is no place for the stress of the routine here. Life at the beach is so different. We have to leave all that behind us. Here, the time does not pass by the clock. It goes by the shadows. We live by the waves. Life is fun here …… we can feel the bliss, play in the sand, splash in the sea, run after the waves, get dirty and wet and yet, no one gets mad !! For a long time, I sit and stare at the endless sea, no thoughts in my mind. I just watch the crashing waves and the glistening sun upon the deep ocean. I feel blessed to be able to laze around in the sun here and admire this scenic beauty. I love beaches….
After hours of collecting the shells and other treasures from the sea, I feel satiated but hot and my throat is parched. I need a drink. Relaxing under the shade of an umbrella with a cool drink in my hands, I already feel better. The sun appears strong but I have no intention of leaving the beach. I look around and see girls in beachwear playing hand ball and young men appreciating the sights. Further down, there are children building sand castles and i remember my childhood. Reminiscing  for some time, I shrug  out of my reverie and reach out for a book from my bag. Books are my constant companion. Like music, books too wash from the soul the dust of every day life. They take me to places unknown and teach me lessons learnt by others.  I feel each time I open a book and read, somewhere a Tree smiles knowing that there’s life after death. This is not the time for some heavy reading but light hearted romance and comedy. Opening my all time favorite, Gone with the wind, which always keeps me wanting more of Scarlette and Mr. Butler…… I make myself more comfortable just in case I doze off reading and dream a few dreams of my own. Sometimes I wonder why we don’t burn calories while reading? I would have been scary thin by now.
The chill in the air suddenly wakes me up. I look around…. Longer shadows…. I stretch and smile. Dusk has fallen…. People are packing up for the day. The sun is setting and now is the time for some chilled beer. You know, I drink beer only at two occasions. One, when I am at the beach and second , when I am not at the beach. There is always something interesting happening around beer. I can hear music from not so far away shacks getting ready for the party all night. Musicians are sitting around stringing their instruments and owners shuffling around for the last minute arrangements. A can of chilled beer in hand, I amuse myself with the people now pouring in…. some singles, some couples and some in groups. Of all sizes and ages, some quiet, some talking and some grooving to the music. As the night comes around, the music gets louder, the spirits flowing freely, the youth get funky and the food gets tastier. Some more beers and sumptuous dinner later I am out again, looking at the sea… its beauty more enhanced by the full moon. As they say, beauty lies in the eyes of the beerholder, sorry beholder. I can never get enough of the beaches and the waves. I can spend a whole lifetime just by watching them.  My lifeline – beaches books and beer and my wish for all of you - may you always have a shell in your pocket and sand in your shoes.

Musings about Toastmasters...

I had been feeling accomplished that my elder son had appeared for his first board exams successfully. All of fifteen, he wanted to improve his speaking skills and while looking around for options, he stumbled upon Toastmasters. On further enquiry, he was invited as a guest to the nearby club meeting and he came back duly impressed. After a few, he was asked to come with a parent and, completely unaware of how this would change my life, I accompanied him.
I clearly remember the special celebratory meeting I attended at John Deere. About 150 odd people were enthusiastically attending and speaking exceptionally well and my heart swelled with pride that one day my son would be such a speaker too!!

I couldn't have been farther from the truth. The then VP PR, TM Aniket, convinced me to join for my son's sake as he was underage ( remember, 15 years only) and if a parent was a Toastmaster, he could come as a guest. Gavel club was unheard of at that time.... All my motherly emotions overflowed and for the love of my son, I decided to go ahead and took the next step of enrolling myself. This was almost exactly 6 years ago and till date, I am not even sure that he attended 6 meetings after I joined!!
Thus began my accidental journey to be a Toastmaster in good standing in a club in good standing ALWAYS .....
From the eyes of a new member, all the other members appeared talented and well versed with the rules and regulations. The excom went out of their way to make me comfortable,the experienced members offered guidance and support for the speeches and roles. Slowly, I found myself adapting to the culture and before I knew, I was addicted long time.
Encouraged to be a part of club executive committee from the very beginning, I took upon playing my roles well and have been appreciated for my efforts throughout.
#ImpactComesFromActions
Somehow, those who worked with me always had more faith in my abilities and could recognize my potential even before I could. They suggested that I opt for leadership roles in the district.
District 98 was created and the first annual conference was announced. I opted for Souvenir chair and became a part of the organizing committee. Approvals, budgets, designs, magazine, gifts, awards, trophies.... Regular calls and meetings, visits, coordinating with vendors, and timely procurement of all these appears to be a nightmare now but in the able leadership of DTM Leo Paulose, who was the Conference Convenor, it seemed like a cake walk. After the event which broke all previous records of popularity and success within a limited budget, for the first time I felt proud to be a part of the organizing committee and received accolades for my contribution. Perhaps that was a nice year as I was recognized as the ARISE ambassador for my support to the Toastmasters community.
All this under by belt, I opted for being an Area Director and to my surprise, I was given the opportunity to serve as one in the term of 2017-2018.
Once again, I was rubbing shoulders with the leadership of the district and they made the term seem smooth when my Area became President's distinguished and my efforts were recognised by recognizing me as the Champion Area Director.
The term ended well, but I did not seem inspired to continue with my leadership journey due to personal reasons.
For one year I focused on my club and it's new members and my experience at the district leadership helped me connect with new members and understand their concerns better.
Once again I was ready to help outside my club and took upon the responsibility of a club coach for a nearby club.
I continue to help new members across clubs, mentor new clubs and provide a trustworthy environment where people can connect for their personal growth in Toastmasters journey.
I feel confident to step up my efforts and take upon the responsibility of Division director now and spread my support to even more members and clubs.
District 98 has witnessed unprecedented growth and within five years, it's ready to be realigned again. I envision a division which would be strong and supportive, abiding by the RISE values of Toastmasters, and giving each member an unforgettable experience in their journey of Toastmasters.

Musings of my mind....

I don't remember much about my birth.
Some where, some place, some day, some time.....

As souls we were given the fredom to choose our our families on our journey through this earth.
I think I can recall the ecstasy on my parent's face as they held me in their arms for the first time, their feeling of joy on being reunited and I thought - YES..... these were they parents I had always wanted and I had made no mistake.....

They showered me with their love and affection, gifted me with a younger sister and a brother, and provided guidance with love and care. I grew up appreciating the values of non materialistic things and have learnt two invaluable lessons from them.
One, Human beings are far more important than money and things money can buy and second, family always holds the first priority, come what may..... They have been the pillars of support I can still rely on.They gave me the freedom to choose and take my own decisions in life and taught me to stick to those decisions.
I remember growing up with my siblings - fighting, laughing, playing and having fun throughout.At that time we did not realise that we were creating beautiful memories. We were just living our lives, sometimes even dreaming a distant dream which was not very clear but of success which was not defined at that time and of being a career woman. This, mainly because of my mother who is a homemaker although all my aunts were working and I envied the freedom their children always seem to have. I was quite determined not to deprive my children of this freedom in their growing up years.

I have always taken pride in being logical, down to earth, open minded and a practical person.
I was pursuing my PG in commerce along with CS when I got married. I dont know whether marriages are made in heaven or not but I do know that when two people decide to share their destinies and their lives together, there should be love, respect, trust and above all companionship amongst them. I feel blessed to have found such a life partner who respects me for who I am. He is loving, caring and nurturing, always willing to stand by me in whatever I choose to do. In more than 23 years of our marriage we have stood by each other in all the ups and downs of our lives, making our bond of friendship stronger with each passing day. If my parents gave me roots, my husband has given me wings to soar high in the sky. He has given me confidence and taught me to be self sufficient in the true meaning of the word.

However there was one aspect where our views did not match.he was not willing to have a working mother for our children. He was quite adamant on this front and finally I had to give in. With time I was blessed with two lovely sons. Today my elder son is going to be 22 and my younger one is 16 years old. When I look back, I do not regret even for a moment the decision to give priority to my family over everything else. I realise that my decision of bringing up to beautiful human beings has been the most rewarding career I could have chosen for myself.
I now look at my mother with more respect and know what all she had to sacrifice to be always there for us while we were growing up. 

While my children grew, I kept myself available for them, looking after their each and every need and providing them with a strong support, both emotional and otherwise.
Whenever I would feel tired, I would rejuvenate myself with sleep, poetry and literature. Yes.... reading is one of my hobbies and I also feel the stress flow out of me when I cook. I dream of a vacation all alone with beaches, books and biryani for company and of course silence, broken only the waves.....

Now that my children are quite self sufficient and are less demanding on my time, I decided to work for myself, trying to fulfill my long lost dream of a career. While I was looking around for options, I came to know of Image Consultancy as an up coming career and decided to pursue it.9 years down the line, I feel a sense of satisfaction looking around and seeing people whom I have helped move ahead in their lives and reach their dream roles and goals through managing their A, B, C of image ( Appearance, behavior and communication ). I realise that success is not being popular, it is not being rich. Success is looking back at your life with no regrets, being at peace with yourself and satisfied at having achieved  your aims in life. It is not for others to measure to your success but for you to feel it.

In the end I promise to myself that I shall strive to play all my roles with sincerity, confidence and perseverance as long as I am passing through this earth, till I am free again.....

Finding a date....

On your date....

One last satisfied look at himself and he walked out to his new Audi A6. His new date would surely be impressed. He smiled and whistled as he drove to pick her up, thinking of all the good times he had had in the last year in this new office. Tina, Meena, Niki, Polly, Seema, Priti, Samy, Liz, Neeti….. and not to forget Shalu and Mini he had dated them all and today after dating the new girl in the office, his count would be 28 or 29 in the last 16 months. Proud of his abilities, he saw his close friend and colleague Raji park his bike as his girlfriend waited for him. As he watched them, he recognized the girl – Simi from the nest office and he thought to himself,

 “Still stuck with his second date?”

He looked again towards them, still sitting in his car. They were hugging and quite comfortable with each other, undoubtedly enjoying each moment spent together. Their stance and togetherness spoke volumes of their friendship. Just then Raji saw him and greeted with a wave of hand, calling him over. Excitedly he told about his engagement with Simi and invited him for the party he was throwing for his friends next weekend. Congratulating them, our hero moved over, looking forward to meet his new date.

The beautiful girl waiting for him looked gorgeous and eager but he hardly seemed to notice. The time spent for the wonderful romantic movie and dinner also found him preoccupied…. Throughout the evening he kept comparing himself to Raji. He looked better, held a better office, had better riches and maybe a better bank balance. But he could not remember taking out the same girl for a second or a third date, let alone for a time long enough to get engaged. Sometimes he longed for companionship. But was not able to understand why all the girls suddenly became busy when he called them back after waiting for their call for over a week. All of a sudden they had family emergencies or office pressure or parents’or cousins visiting…. 

Why? Why? Why? 

What was it that made them refuse? 

Why he couldn’t follow up? 

Why he always had a new date but no repeats?

What was he lacking?

He could not find the answers….

What can be the reasons?????

Not to communicate...

Not to communicate.....

To speak or not to speak is an easy choice for most of us. But can we as easily choose whether we want to communicate or not to communicate??

I am certain all of you must have at least once, if not more, faced this situation where you have been forced to attend an event which you had no intention of attending. This could have been either because of parents' insistence, siblings, friends, colleagues, bosses or any one else who might have asked you to make your presence at an occasion. 

What did you do in such cases?

I am certain you must have pulled out  the first available dress, reached the venue, met the host, registered your presence and sat scowling for the rest of the evening, refusing to communicate pleasantly or socialise till it was a decent time to take your leave. Once out, you must have patted yourself on the back, happy that an ordeal is over.  But hey! did you actually not communicate?? Your decision to not communicate itself communicated a lot about you as a person......

 According to the dictionary meaning of the word communication, it can broadly be classified into Verbal, Vocal and Non verbal. Verbal Communication is 7% of the total communication and constitutes of words which we use to convey our intentions. It is as good as sending a text to a person and leaving it up to them to perceive its meaning. 

Vocal communication is 38% of the total and it conveys our tone of speaking, where we pause and where we lay stress while speaking. It is far more powerful than mere verbal communication. For example : A husband wanting to take his wife for dinner can simply text her " Why don't I take you out for dinner tonight?" (equivalent to 7% verbal communication)

OR

He can call her up and convey his intentions in a more powerful way. This way he can communicate at least 7 to 8 intentions using the same words but with different pauses and emphasis.  (stress on the bold+underlined word)

Why don't I take you out for dinner tonight?

Why don't I take you out for dinner tonight?

Why don't I take you out for dinner tonight?

Why don't I take you out for dinner tonight?

Why don't I take you out for dinner tonight?

Why don't I take you out for dinner tonight?

Why don't I take you out for dinner tonight?

Why don't I take you out for dinner tonight?

This verbal and vocal communication combined makes only 45% of the total communication. The rest whooping 55% of the total communication is NON VERBAL communication and in situations where we do not get a chance to express our opinions verbally, this 55% has to be a complete 100%.......

Non verbal communication consists of your appearance as a whole including your dressing and grooming, your facial expressions and your body language. You must be wondering how you can manage and communicate positively in all situations in a non verbal atmosphere?

It has been found that human brain has a photographic memory. They remember better what they see rather than what they hear. One wrong impression and every time that person is mentioned, the wrong image will pop up. So each time you meet people, you have to make sure that you are always communicating positively non verbally and trust me , its not so difficult.

It all begins with self. A positive self image always helps. If you believe in yourself and have faith in you abilities, that confidence is reflected on your face and it glows all the time, making you look beautiful. 

Next most important thing is personal hygiene and grooming which conveys a lot about you as a person to others around you. It conveys your values and beliefs and about things which you consider important. 

After this comes your dressing and appearance for the day or the occasion. While selecting the dress for the day, always keep in mind the time of the day, occasion, the people whom you will meet and the purpose for that meeting. Your appearance should not show disregard or disrespect to the event or to the people around. Colour scheme should be complimentary to your personal colours and and the line, pattern, texture, design should have been selected after consideration to your personal style and body shape. The accessories you choose to compliment your dress should enhance its purpose and your face shape. They should be matching and complimenting your dress and your appearance as a whole. 

Now done with your appearance, your should focus on your body language and facial expressions as they play an important part in your non verbal communication. They are not like dresses which can be changed daily to suit your purpose. They are like the habits of personal hygiene and grooming which stay with you forever and improve with time and knowledge. A correct posture, straight spine , thrown back shoulders convey your confidence and complimented with correct positive facial expressions, you have won the race !!!! A natural smile alone can increase your face value by a thousand times. Natural make up for the whole day look, glamour make up for the evening and subtle make up for the day events, chosen with care, adds a complete look to your appearance.

Good luck to all dear friends for always leaving behind a very very positive impression to everyone you meet from now onwards..... :)

General Etiquette

General Etiquette 

In the fast paced life today, we are moving so fast that we are literally running to keep up and it is now when people need more and more etiquette and courtesy from those around, we realize that more and more they stand lacking in the same field….When we sit back and think, we realize that as common as courtesy might have been for us while growing up, we find it missing from the youth of today. When questioned what they think is general etiquette?, they seem to be ignorant !!

What is common courtesy to you??

I believe it starts with being polite and having loads of patience, using the three sweet magic words of “please , thank you, and sorry “ once too often, smiling cheerfully while talking to others, addressing the people with respectful and appropriate titles, wishing the elders, opening and holding the doors for others, being kind – in short being the sort of person you would like to meet always as the golden rule says to us “ do to others as you want them to do to you “.

Inside the house or outside, we need to be respectful of others around us - while in the lift, while walking down the street, while talking on phones, while sending emails etc .... All situations demand a basic knowledge of etiquette to show respect for people around us.

Once the children step out of the protective environments of the school, they are faced with the harsh reality of the real world. If they are armed with the confidence that they can handle people and situations with the best manners, would it not be wonderful for them as well as their parents?

While preparing for job interviews, the candidates can be better prepared by learning the essential skills of self presentation and body language as there shall be a board of interviewers to face.

While going out for business meetings, the executives feel hesitant as they are not sure of dining etiquette, business etiquette and and general etiquette while interacting with other senior level people.

The managers looking to enhance their skills so as to project an even better self and looking for further promotions should know that they they should dress for the role they aspire to reach one day.

These all people need to look no further.

As an image consultant, I can proudly say that I help people learn these basic skills which are always required in all the phases in life and shall always help them stand a class apart from the general public. These skills can be learnt in a day long seminar, two hour workshops or on one on one basis.If you realize the requirement for the same, please get in touch with me with your requirements at :

priya@perceptionsunlimited.co.in

For further details, please visit my website:

www.perceptionsunlimited.co.in

Thank you 

Spring or Summer, Autumn or Winter??

         

 Spring or Summer, Autumn or Winter??

Did you know that each individual has a unique and a personal color scheme of his own?? You skin tone, your hair, the color of your eyes, cheeks, lips are all unique and this combination of various colors makes you an individual…… an identity….

Your combination can make you a dark autumn, cool winter, light spring or soft summer. There can be combinations in these as well! Cool autumn, warm winter, dark spring light summer and so on till you find your true calling. 

 

Springs and autumns have warm skin undertones while summers and winters essentially have cool skin undertones. It is the color of your hair, eyes, lips and cheeks which help you decide the category for color in which you fall.

Summer palette has soft cool skin with blue tones, low level of contrast and generally light or blonde hair.

Autumn palette has warm, golden peachy undertones to the skin and earthy colors for eyes, low contrast but warm dark color to hair, overall deep and warm look with olive to black skin, very dark eyes and dark brown to black hair.

Spring palette has clear, golden and warm pink skin, sparkling earth and summer eye colors, and deep, dark hair with reddish undertones. They are warm but bright.

Winter color palette has very dark (black to dark brown) hair, intense dark eyes and bluish pinkish undertone to the skin. Overall high contrast and a deep look with olive to black skin, dark eyes and black-brown hair.

Whatever your personal color scheme, we help you choose the right colors for your clothing, makeup and accessories so that each time you dress up and step out of the house, you are armed with the confidence that “You are the best !!”

For your queries and more information on personal color schemes, as a trained and certified Image consultant, I can help you with the right decisions.

You can visit my website for information Image management:

www.perceptionsunlimited.co.in

Or you can drop an email at :

priya@perceptionsunlimited.co.in

Thank you  J